i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
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