even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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