i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
