I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
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