she was so not down for the gang bang
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
