I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Randomize
