So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
