if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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