tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
My pussy is not your playground.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
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