A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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