Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
