That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
