Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We had to coat check the pizza.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
