Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
