O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
