Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
