Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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