There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
