Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
