i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
