You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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