he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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