Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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