There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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