life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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