dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
