I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
