im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
