Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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