He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
