I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
