thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
A+ Viking dick
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
