My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
we made out on top of his cat.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
