i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
