During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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