GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
