So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
