some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
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