Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
