his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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