Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
