Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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