This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
