Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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