I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
