is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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