I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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