well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
