I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
