i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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